| june 13 2005 Hahahahaha |
[14 May 2009|06:36pm] |
afterschool, today, my mom picked me and manna up and took us to chili's. we ate. we threw food at each other, and excersised our inside-joke muscles with Tony Little's Gazelle. He sold it to us using the Television and all of its mystical far-view powers (but its all Greek to me!). He cut thru all the horsehockey and showed us what was real. Like cahrles manson, he was no leader- he just said what was true, and we all followed. He may have hinted that he was Jesus, but we all knew he really was! i mean, would Jesus have to come out and say it? I shot a black man yesterday. He said that i would pay for all the wrong-doings my people have put on record and lp, and i just shot him. i did it in cold blood, and i took his brain, as a souveneir. I figured that he didnt really need it. later that afternoon, as i was watching the brain, trying to figure out how to make a hanging fern basket out of it, his soul floated high above the glass coffee table in the middle of my room, and it spoke to me.
the soul said: "hark! do not fear, for i am the soul of JaVonJefferson Tyree Thieron. I have come to inquire as to why you shot me in the arm."
i replied, stonily (i was talking to a soul, you gotta show 'em who's boss if ya wanna keep the brains!): "i shot you in the arm because my hand slipped. i was aiming for the neck."
the soul's answer, a little puzzled: "that wasnt the..i meant, why did you shoot me at all?"
to which i said: "i knew not the answer to the question which was asked. Who really knows why white people hate black people? i think it has to do with the medulla oblongata."
The soul, sucka: "well, you didnt have to shoot me."
the soul-sucka: "you didnt have to tell me i'd pay for the recordings which my forefathers capitalized off of."
the soulja: "touche, touche indeed."
ya chustvuyu zapah mahzgov: "now we're clear?"
JaVonJefferson Tyree: "no, not really. i'm afraid i still dont understand."
yours truly: "i aint ask you to, homie."
and then i shot him again. i shot his soul, this time, though. Which, i must be an excellent marksman, because i shot a soul. its a terrible thing, i did. but you know, i was getting tired of him, and i was getting tired in general. so itook a few muscle relaxers, had a cheap light beer, and stretched out in the lay-z-boy with the brain in the jar. i silently wondered if the brain was grey because the guy was black. like, is a native american's brain pink, because that's a lighter version of red? i dont know what my brain looks like. what's a lighter shade of white? what would happen if we were all the same brain-colour? what would happen if we all ahd different ones, according to which gang we favoured? we wouldnt have to belong, cause white peiople dont generally join gangs. at least not the good white people. so, im sitting there, with a brain, its starting to smell a little. i decide i should disinfect it. i take the greatest care in placing it in the dishwasher. when it comes out, its not the same- its all hard. so i soak it in some re-squish fluid, and its as good as new. its only about midnight, by now, and i decide that i cant sleep anymore. i take JaVonJefferson's brain to the local pub and i introduce him to all the ladies. surprisingly, a brain is very similar to a puppy, when it comes to magnetizing chicks. they all wanted to touch the brain i had brought in. i said: "this brain used to belong to a...BLACK MAN. i killed him earlier today." i could hear them all thinking, "ill bet he had a HUGE cock." and i answer them, without even thinking about it: "yeah, he did. i should have taken that, too." before all the words were out, i could tell i had said the exact opposite of whatever i was expected to say. my secret was out! they all knew immediately! the brain gave me special, telepathinc powers. was i endowed with other psychic/physical powers with which i had not been previously endowed?! HAD THE BRAIN TRANSFORMED ME INTO A SUPER-HUMAN???!!! one could only hope. so, i travelled back to my home with the mucho-quickness, i tried to open the lock with my mind. it worked! it really worked! jsut when i thought things couldnt get any wilder, i opened my refridgerator door and there was an entire roasted pig, with all the fixin's! i giggle, and eat. i offer some to the brain, but he politely refuses (some brains choose not to eat meat, you know- its his decision, and i respect that). when i walk back over to the reclining chair, i sit down and tuck the brain under my arm and i says to him, i says: "brain, youse and me's gon' be goooood freyends." and jsut then, the soul comes back! and the soul says "you shot me, which un-redeems you. im a-takin' all them powers back from you." so he did. i got to keep the brain, though.
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(take the elevator)
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| A little less than a year ago |
[14 May 2009|06:29pm] |
"i just think theyre both dumb, and theyre both assholes. so i guess that speaks volumes about me and my taste in boys. you can refresh my memory on this when josh and i arent together, and i call him the same thing."
I thought it was pretty funny, so I thought I'd share.
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(take the elevator)
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| Haaayyy |
[11 May 2009|01:10am] |
So, I just read a crapload of old entries, and I was a little (a lot) crazy in high school. I can't explain how thankful I am that God finally got a hold on me and turned me around. Even afterward, it took a little while for Him to make me un-crazy. WEEEEIIRRRD. Did any of you know? I have the most amazing friends. And also, the most amazing husband. He goes to Alaska, though, sometimes.
I am determined to get skinny. Or at least, less fat before I get pregnant again. I want to be able to wear a two-piece bathing suit with a giant baby belly. I know it's gross, but I want to do it. I, personally, don't like pregnant bellies. They look gross, but it's amazing and I love it. As long as I don't have to look at it.
I think I should actually write in this again! Or a notebook. A notebook would be better. I miss carrying one, because I often think things that I want to remember but forget to write down. I want to get back into writing so that when I sit down and decide to blog about something it's actually interesting to read. I used to could write about eggs or cupcakes and make it worth reading. I liked it, and I, for whatever reason, have problems doing it, now.
Anyway.
Band Practice on tuesdaaaayyy
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(2 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[21 May 2006|10:16pm] |
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i jsut so worried about her. everytime i think about it i cry. no kidding. im so...just scared, cause i feel like i lost her, and we're never going to see her again. you know, it wont be long until i have a whole new set of friends, and no one knows who im talking about anymore. and...she could be there for years. YEARS. can you even imagine that? being away from your home for years with no one..i should send her a letter with her mom. maybe she'd like that. i dont even know what to think.
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(3 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[14 Apr 2006|08:57pm] |
i bought:
*a bunch of gay shiz for my car
*hawaiian seat covers(red)
*hawaiian steering wheel cover (red)
*black dice (lock knobs)
*fuzzy dice
*jesus fish
*special ordered LeBra
*hula girl
*pearl jam (vs.)
*hole (celebrity skin)
*bright eyes (lifted or yadda yadda yadda)
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(2 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[22 Mar 2006|09:51pm] |
We´ve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down
I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist
Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I´m beggin', won´t you put down that knife?
You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft
Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me anymore
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers
Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead
Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me
Anymore, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore.
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(1 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[07 Mar 2006|01:45pm] |
once upon a time,
"woman" was a special thing to be.
"woman" was power
"woman" was beauty
"woman" was birth
"woman" was exaltation.
but when "wife" means
"servant"
and nothing else,
its difficult to
celebrate what you were born into.
born into curves
power
maybe even beauty-
it really doesnt mean anything,
when truthfully, one woman has never been
entirely enough
for one man.
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(1 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[19 Jan 2006|10:09pm] |
At home, drawing pictures of mountaintops with him on top-
lemon-yellow sun, arms raised in a "v"-
while the dead lay in pools of maroon below
Daddy didn't give attention to the fact that Mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the Wicked ruled his world
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Clearly i remember picking on the boy,
he seemed a harmless little fuck.
But, we unleashed a lion- he gnashed his teeth
and bit the recess lady's breast.
How could i forget?
Hit me with a surprise left,
my jaw left hurtin' and dropped down just like the day,
oh, the day i heard.
Daddy didn't give affection, oh-
and the boy was something Mommy wouldn't wear.
King Jeremy the Wicked ruled his world
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Try to forget this, try to erase this from the blackboard.
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(2 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[29 Nov 2005|08:36pm] |
Busted flat in Baton Rouge,
Headed for the trains.
I was feelin' nearly as faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a diesel down,
Just before it rained;
Took us all the way to New Orleans.
I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna,
And was blowin' sad while Bobby sang the blues.
With them windshield wipers slappin time, and Bobby clappin hands,
We finally sang up every song that driver knew,
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose,
Nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free.
Feelin' good was easy, lord when Bobby sang the blues,
And feelin' good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee
From the coal mines of Kentucky to the California sun,
Bobby shared the secrets of my soul.
Standin' right beside me lord through everything I done,
And every night she kept me from the cold.
Then somewhere near Salinas, lord I let her slip away,
Lookin' for that home I hope she finds.
But I'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday,
Holdin' Bobby's body next to mine.
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose,
Nothin' left is all she left for me.
Feelin' good was easy, lord, when Bobby sang the blues,
And feelin' good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
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(take the elevator)
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[21 Nov 2005|01:41pm] |
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so, does anyone have echo's screenname? cause she's really dumb. and i dont like it.
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(take the elevator)
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[17 Nov 2005|06:29pm] |
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i feel so crappy. im tired, and my back hurts, and-hormoneally- im unstable. naturally, this would be the day that the kids were the worst, and the day the assistant director of the daycare would be replacing stephanie when she got sick -which, of course, means she was the adult staff member on duty,a nd i was supposed to help her. she must have seen me lightly slap around the kids who misbehaved (not badly, just in the sot of way that you grab their arm to tell 'em you mean business), and heard me yelling at them. but come on- everyone knows that savannah's crackhead mama doesnt take care of her damn kids- and we had em both this evening. however, a first- savannah got a spanking from her mommy in the bathroom, and was forced to hug and apologise to me. it was pretty nice. maybe things will get a little better in regards to Mowgli. i dont know. but im damn near sick of stupid whiny kids. except taylor, she's the best. and Jayni- she's pretty cool, she just doesnt listen worth a damn. ashleigh's a liar, jason is a baby (who decides he'd rather play a few mintues longer, and then be ostracized rather than warn us he has to poopoo), and luke is depressed. i dont know. theyre pretty good kids, emma speaks in the third person- but only part of the time. "dont drop emma!" "emma hold you." its a pretty good job, but it pays six an hour. ill work on tuesday, since i really dont wanna go to candi's house with the rest of the school; and wednesday, since school is closed and daycare isnt. i dont know, josh hasnt said whether i can go with him on thanksgiving, but i kind of need to know, so i can make plans to just stay home if i cant. im NOT going to sam and andy's, because i dont want to watch their kids, and i dont want to spend hours away from my house with nothing to do. i cant sleep at someone else's house, you know. i dont even...grah. i jsut want to like, talk to josh, and then go to sleep, like every other night. that's all.
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(5 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[13 Nov 2005|06:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Weird Al Yankovic-Amish Paradise |
] |
When I was a young lass, my grandparents (paternal) raised Appaloosas on their MIssissippi ranch. There were two mares, and two ponies. One year, I was about ten, a mare gave birth to a colt, whom they named after their first-born grandbaby- moi. The colt's name was "King's Court," which played into both my name and the other horses' name theme (Duchess, Empress). I dont know what happened to Ol' King's Court, but the ponies (Squirrel, Mouse, whose named was later changed to Monsieur) and Duchess died. Empress is still with us, but she doesnt give a damn if you dont ahve a bucket in your hand. I wistled for her over the summer, and she gave me a contemtuous look.
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(3 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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[29 Oct 2005|10:51pm] |
I committed suicide: id never forgive you
I said I liked you: i already knew that, duh!
I kissed you: blush
I lived next door to you: that would be so freaking awesome
I started smoking: i dont know, id get over it
I stole something: i dont think youd be very good at stealing..
I was hospitalized: id steal my own car and go see you every day
I ran away from home: say you could live with me
I got into a fight and you weren't there: ask for all the details
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
Personality: i love it
Eyes: theyre pretty
Face: im jealous of your forehead, and im mad at you for not liking your cheeks
Hair: im jealous of it, too
Clothes: i like them, i totally stole your style. that damn polo..i couldnt resist.
RANDOM
01 Who are you? courtnally
02 Are we friends? yes
03 When and how did we meet? church last year, i guess
04 How have I affected you? youre definitely like, my best friend
05 What do you think of me? i think youre amazing
06 What's the fondest memory you have of me? uh, i dont know. this changes every day (but right now, im thinking the couch)
07 How long do you think we will be friends or enemies? for a long time, i hope. at least til you move to oregon and i move to montana
08 Do you love me? yes
09 Have I ever hurt you? just when you...do bad stuff
10 Would you hug me? yeah
11 Would you kiss me? totally if like, i didnt think it would weird you out.
12 Are we close? yeah, i like to think so
13 Emotionally, what stands out? your sensitivity and caring
14 Do you wish I was cooler? no, you oculdnt be cooler
15 On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I? 12
16 Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. tiffally, duh
17 Am I loveable? yes
18 How long have you known me? um...a few weeks? well, you know.
19 Describe me in one word. tiffany
20 What was your first impression? youre really nice
21 Do you still think that way about me now? yes
22 What do you think my weakness is? caring too much
23 Do you think I'll get married? yes
24 What about me makes you happy? youre really cute
25 What about me makes you sad? well, you know
26 What reminds you of me? 90's pop
27 What's something you would change about me? id make you not sad
28 How well do you know me? pretty well, i guess. i dont really know
29 Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? no
30 Do you think I would kill someone? yes,and i hope its korey- but we all do
31 Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? no, cause i dont feel like it
WOULD U?
[x] go out with me?
[x] give me your number?
[ ] kiss me?
[ ] let me kiss you?
[x] watch a movie with me?
[x] let me take you out to dinner?
[ ] let me drive you somewhere i dont trust you behind the wheel of a motor vehicle (remember all those tv shows about road rage?)
[ ] have a fling with me?
[ ] hit me?
[x] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[ ] Give me a piggy back ride? it really scares me when people jump on my back
[x] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[x] dance with me?
[x] make me breakfast?
[ ] tickle me to death?
[x] let me tickle you?
[x] instant message me?
[x] greet me in public?
[x] hang out with me?
[x] bring me around your friends?
D0 Y0U...
[x] think im cute?
[x] think im hot?
[ ] want to kiss me?
[ ] want to cuddle with me?
[ ] want to hook up with me?
ARE WE...
[ ] aquintences?
[x] friends?
[ ] in a relationship?
[x] gonna get married?
AM i...
[x] smart?
[x] cute?
[x] funny?
[x] cool?
[x] loveable?
[x] adorable?
[x] compassionate?
[ ] annoying?
[x] great to be with?
[x] attractive?
[ ] mean?
[x] odd?
HAVE Y0U EVER...
[x] thought about me?
[ ] thought there might be an "us"?
[ ] thought about hookin up with me?
[ ] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[x] wished i were there?
[ ] grabbed me?
[ ] had a crush on me?
[x] wanted my number?
[x] had a dream about me?
[x] been distracted by me? mrs simpson wishes we would write in our journals
ARE Y0U...
[x] done with this survey?
[x] happy you know me?
[ ] mad at me?
[x] thinkin bout me?
[ ] going to repost this so that i will return the favor?
honestly, tiff- what the hell kinda questions were those??
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(5 grabbed their umbrella | take the elevator)
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